http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUqnrjSFXtE
It’s been 8months and a week that I’ve known him. I still remember our first met. me and him were on the same team.
I asked him his name and where he comes from. when he answered me, I was like “are you seriously ? why are you shipped here ? are you cursed or what ? how did you know this place ?”
first day passed, I knew him as a good guy but it became things that annoyed me. I knew I was weak like shiz but okay I could walk with my own feet and I didnt need his help !
second day passed, sorry I was suck on cooking. I cant cook anything -___-
third day passed, we were back to the dorm. i hate that place. i couldnt sleep with the mosquitoes sucked my yummy blood ! I asked almost of all the boys there to lend me their sarung but no one seemed care but him. he lent me without thinking. “oh God this guy is so nice”
days passed, I still hate being there, hate the people, hate the city, it was my want not to fall in love with the guy there. but him,
he made the butterflies flied on my stomach :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlXOx52Pxao
that day, he asked me to sew his uniforms, didnt know why I wanted to help him. I was happy to do that.
the conversation that we made everyday..
i remember when i saw him on my request friends list on facebook, God, it was the first time i realized that i had something for him. something that i couldnt explain, something that i didnt want to admit. i felt my heart a little bit pounded when i saw his photos. he was with a girl. a pretty girl
i knew it was wrong but i just couldnt help my self not to fall for him
and it was the day when he told me that he broke up with that pretty girl. i really didnt know what to do or what to say even think
i didnt want to be a b?tch who broke someone’s relationship. wait, did i ? then it crossed in my mind, i didnt even know his feeling for me. “does he feel the same way with me ?”
February 1st 2012
he told me that he wanted to tell me something. what does he want to say ? i didnt want to hear anything bad. why is he so serious ? God, please, no, i dont wanna cry. i dont wanna be sad. “aku mau kamu hapus perasaan kamu, ke aku…” NO, NO, dita, hold your tears. “… sebagai temen. aku sayang kamu. kamu mau jadi pacarku ?”
it wasnt for the first time for me, but making relationship was. miracle has came :)
i remember when we went out on Saturday night. he lead magrib pray. he was my imam and i was his makmum :)
and the first time when our hands fit together, no word came out from out mouths but the silence was just so -i dont know how to tell- somehow made me felt comfort. i loved being beside him. walked around the town through the night
day by day
some people love us, some people hate us
my dad, his dad, his sister, my senior
“peduli apa ? kita yang ngejalanin hubungan, bukan mereka kan ?”
we kept encouraging each other :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsbkk4SZAqA
sometimes we fight, i just couldnt bear not to be jealous. hello i’m a girl. i’m jealous. cause i love you. i know i’m overreacting. but it was something new for me. i hope you understand me. i hope you still guide me. make me mature enough to face it.
now, we are separated. i know this is what i want. we still had a good conversation, he was still nice to me and we knew we still love each other.
but when he said we couldnt make this relationship just like before, i was kinda crying inside. dont you know how it feels when we can leave in a house but you cant say you own it so you can leave everywhere, you can “freely” do it ?
it’s okay, i try to understand. i always.
we cant be together. we will never be. there are so many differences between us
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6v4zbWyfwxQ
too much writing uh ? yes, i cant sleep. then it brought me back to that night when i wasnt in a good mood and i couldnt sleep. i phoned him then he phoned me back. does he still remember it ? he sang me a lullaby “dita bobok oh dita bobok kalo tidak bobok….” aaawh it always made me smile :)
i remember when i am sad, he always knows how to bring my smile back. i miss the way he did it, i miss the way he hugged me, i miss when we hold our hands, i miss when we laugh together, i miss the way he looks at me through his grey shady eyes, i miss the way he rubbed my hair gently, i miss the way he kissed my forehead, i miss him…
but it totally hurt me and broke my heart into pieces when he ignored me and said that he didnt care about me anymore..
